Timeless
by kaitym
Summary: What do you do if you find out your going to lose everything? Whats going to happen to your brother, who you've taken care of for his entire life. How will you manage? Isla's life was different before everything happened, and then everything changed.


**So! I've posted a new story! YAAAAY. I kinda already started this story with a different opening chapter, but I kinda like this one better. So lets see what you think!**

**I guess you could say this is the prologue, but I'm declaring it the first chapter.**

**REVIEEEWWW. :)**

**Thanks Kaity :)**

CHAPTER 1- Holding On for Dear Life

How fast can your life be taken away from you? People don't realize this but it takes one word, or three in my case "Your going to die". It's a second, an instant, and no one will ever be prepared for it.

I've been told recently upon hearing these words, to breath in and let go, but how? I haven't even began to live my life to the fullest yet. In an instant I've lost every hope, every dream I've ever had; the white picket fence, happily married, having kids, grandkids even. I will never graduate from high school, nor fulfil my career path that I have chosen for myself. There isn't any fight left. Having everything ripped from your soul can do that to you. If your life, in your mind just ended and if your soul is broken there is no chance to repair it without the appetite to live. These words describe my life now.

Frightened barely begins to describe what I'm feeling. What am I supposed to feel? The doctors can't tell me, neither can my family. The only people who can really tell me what I should truly feel... are dead. So when your told your going to die... there's no way of really knowing how you feel, how you truly feel at least because you can yell everyone your fine, when really your screaming on the inside. No one can hear me, no one will ever hear me. I make everything okay, so that the pain my brother is going through will subside. "It's okay Charlie, I'll be fine, I'm okay." I put a fake smile on my face to see his brighten.

He never sits still. Always shifting in his seat. This is what makes me nervous, signalling me that hes not okay, that he will never be okay. He can never look me in the eye, always looking down as he kicks his feet. These symptoms, are apart of his autism. He was diagnosed with severe Aspergers Syndrome, a form of autism. Our mother says it will pass, but she is in denial.

"Fearless. Fearless like before." he says to me. Even as he says this he still makes no eye contact with me. I am used to this, but in this moment, all I want is for him to look at me. He's still kicking his feet as I gather my thoughts, it's only when he stops kicking his feet that I realize I haven't answered yet.

"Your right, your being really brave, very fearless" I say to him. He's still didn't kick his feet. He was crying, I could see that.

"No. You. Fearless like before right?" he says to me. I wanted to get up out of my hospital bed and hug him. It hurt to move, so I couldn't and I felt like I was abandoning him. After taking care of him for so many years, I was abandoning him.

I knew what he was talking about. With Aspergers they say you become "socially awkward", well its true. I was my brothers only friend. He could never make friends because he could never talk to anyone. When he was seven, he tried... tried to make friends but when he talked full sentences wouldn't come out only half of what he wanted to say would ever come out. His new friend, the friend he tried to make, laughed at him. Any normal child would go find a new friend, but Charlie came home in tears. Charlie sat in my room, on my bed and told me what had happened. I told him to be fearless, fearless so that nothing will bother him... nothing will make him cry, that whatever other children said didn't matter, it was only him and I. Together until the end.

"Charlie... fearless, fearless like before." I smiled at him. He began to kick his feet. I lay back down and rest my head on top of the fluffy pillow. I started crying. Holding on is all I can do, I have given up on living, but I will strive to stay alive for Charlie. Being alive and living were to different things, but I had to do one. Charlie, is different... and without me... where would he go, how would he handle it all. Protection is what he needs; I am his protection, from the dangers and the cruel people of this world.

"I will be okay Charlie... I promise." I closed my eyes and sobbed heavily to myself. Lying to my brother wasn't easy because I knew that I would never be okay anymore.


End file.
